Tuesday, June 12, 2012

seek inward for what you're looking for...

At Prana Yoga College

              One year ago, I was sitting in a classroom with unfamiliar people. Everyone looked new to the space and environment, which kept me at ease and comfortable. I had arrived in Vancouver 2 days before my intensive yoga teacher training began to familiarize myself with the area. I stayed in Kitsilano with a wonderful roomate Sara and her cute cat Squid. My initial intention heading out west was to remove myself from all that I knew here at home and to go out and explore. I was hoping to seek some inner peace, but I had no expectations of what the end result would be. I just had this deep trust that I was in the right place. Today looking back, I bunked with the most amazing roomate. I met an incredible teacher, Shakti Mhi. I built friendships with people from all walks of life. And, I really got to know Tina.
This escape really taught me about me and my adjustment to new surroundings and new people. I was able to observe my thoughts and my body and attend to the things about myself that I wanted to change and develop the things I liked. After one month I realized that I was already great and although grateful for this amazing month away, I already had everything I was looking for within myself. The peace, joy, happiness, love...it was always in there. I guess I thought that it was outside of me and far from home and so my desire to getaway grew strong. I remember my dad telling me before I left that, if I was running from my problems, they would be here when I returned home or they would just follow me wherever I end up. He was right. I am thankful that I chose a getaway where I was learning and doing something I loved. Something that wasn't a distraction to what was really going on, but something that helped all that "stuff" come to the surface.

I remember one day going to the beach by myself an hour before I met with a friend to study. I judged myself a bit and labelled myself as a loner, but when I got there, I felt so good being able to sit with myself, my thoughts, my body and just take in all that was around me (especially the view of the mountains). I was worried about what other people may have thought, seeing me sitting alone. The truth was that I was manipulating myself to believe that people around me actually cared about what I was doing on my own. Think again..many people were on their own reading, engaged in their own conversation, just simply enjoying life in their own moment.

Thank you to the events that sent me out to wander out west. Thank you to my past employers who allowed me the time off. Thank you to my supportive family who trusted that I knew what I was doing. Thank you to my love who waited for me. Thank you to the fantastic people I connected with that made my trip memorable, including myself. And thank you to a fantastic teacher, who shook something inside me to wake up and realize that I already have all that I need in every moment.

Reminiscing in joy of my amazing time last year...

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti...

No comments:

Post a Comment