There's this shift going on in the universe and I think many people are feeling it. It seems that everyone I talk to is in search for something or depressed; questionning everything in their life or doesn't know what makes them happy anymore. After watching eat pray love, it was as if I saw similarities in myself as I did in the movie. If you feel the same, don't panic, lets reflect. I remember feeling really scared of what the outcome of my life would be based on how down I was feeling. I was scared of losing the things in my life that I already had or the unknown. What I have discovered is that it isn't anyone or anything in your life that is to blame for this feeling. We all want to figure it all out RIGHT NOW or find an excuse or something to blame, but in reality its just us. We are the ones going through something and the people in our life that are trying to understand us or are willing to emotionally support us are the people that love and care for us. Don't push them away.
This year was a year of questionning everything in my life. At one point I wanted to be by myself and move out on my own. Then I thought I needed to get away from my soulmate. Then I thought I needed new friends and a new job/career. I wanted to run away from everything at one point. What was it? The wisdom in me knew that running away wouldn't solve anything, but bring on feeling even more alone then I already had. I couldn't remember what made me feel good because I felt like I was living my life from other people's influences. Here are some of the things I started to do that brought me back to finding myself.
I started to meditate again every morning and if I didn't have the full 20mins in silence, then I said a prayer. I started to open up to the people I love and have had great long chats with them in hopes they would listen to what I had to say. They all did. I really realized how much I was loved during all this time because no one turned their back on me. I am so grateful for this :) I have been simplifying my life by not checking email everyday or not texting as much. I have been writing in my journal to vent and then decide afterwards if I choose to share it with who I need to. Sometimes its as if there are two of me...my heart and then my mind...and when I follow my heart, I am so happy, but when my mind threw in those questionning or negative thoughts, I allowed it to control me as if it were another being. Without being negative towards myself, I've been looking into my eyes in the mirror and telling myself that I am beautiful, that I love myself, that I am great just as I am.
I have been using positive affirmations like, I am happy, I love life, I am joyous today, I go with the flow of life and trust that everything is working out for me. Although you may not feel that way, just affirming it over and over replaces those negative thoughts or the fear that's coming into your mind out of habit. BREAK THE HABIT. Its just like anything else. Thinking negtively or living in fear is a bad habit.
Add a little singing, dancing, yoga, meditaton, prayer, listening to music, you time, family/friend time, pet time. Keep things simple. Go back to what made you happy when you were a kid and DO IT. Do it alone or with others...set yourself free. Express yourself :)