Surrender

Everyday I learn something new about myself and I am always so amazed at what I discover. I am just like everyone else and I go back to the times when i'd beat myself up over feeling a certain way or wanting to do certain things that may have displeased others. No matter what you have to follow your heart and the times when you need to be courageous to take the steps to finding yourself, you need to believe in yourself and know that everything is working out. It's as if we always have these amazing guides/guardian angels. I think it's so important to fall inlove with yourself. I want to fall inlove with myself and support and be there for myself unconditionally. I know that it is the only way that I can truly open myself up to love another fully. And I want someone who loves themselves too.

 Surrender to what is present and know that you are always protected and guided. Once you let go, grace will flow into your life. Let go of your fears and just live freely. Surrender. Fall inlove with yourself.

Happiness

When I'm feeling down and I'm trying to find happiness I ask myself...
What was it I loved when I was a child? And I remember...
I LOVED being at my Papanonno's house, sitting around the table listening to the adults in my life talking, playing school with my little sister, doing fashion shows, playing a mother role to my little sister, writing in my diary about ALL the boys I crushed on, playing with my best friend, watching disney movies (especially Lion King, but I HATE the part when Simba's dad, Muffasa dies), watching full house, who's the boss, saved by the bell, being videotaped by my uncle Joe, singing, dancing, watching the wizard of oz at my great grand parent's house, protecting my dad when my parents wrestled, protecting my parents during family fights, watching Barney with my little sister, getting a new puppy, writing poems, listening to Celine Dion, Shania Twain, Ace of Base (especially, Its a beautiful life), making my parents proud, being swung around by my uncle Carlos, having my back tickled by my aunt, cuddling with any of my dogs, having dates with my uncle Joe. I know there are many more. If you're searching for happiness, just know that it's already inside you, take a closer look :) Choose the Happy state of mind because you deserve it :)

Hugs,
T

Mistakes

Know that there are no mistakes because everything you have experienced has made you the beautiful person you are today.

I have had a rough year and I can tell you right now that all the issues I thought were real were actually all illusions. Everything in your mind is an illusion unless you are in the present moment. Thoughts or stories of the past or future, all illusions. It has nothing to do with what is actually true in the moment. Often we stress about yesterday or tomorrow, and harm our bodies with the negative thought patterns, but whats the point if it doesn't exist right now?? Why stress about yesterday whens its over? Why stress about tomorrow, when it hasn't come yet? I know that oneday I'll self publish all my blogs and pass them down to everyone in my future that I love and care about. Something to know me by.

So back to my opening line. If I never stole money from my Nonna when I was 8 years old, I may have never learned my lesson and might have been a bank robber in my 20's. It doesn't matter how big or small you "identify" your bad doings in your past, its all done with, so move on. Thank yourself for it and be done with it. I want you all to know that you are always being guided and that no matter what you are loved, cherished, and honoured by someone. Set yourself free from anything you considered a mistake in your past...remember that there are no mistakes.

Take some time to quiet your mind today.

Hugs,
T

Set your boundaries...

I have been off work this entire week and I didn't plan anything. I faught myself tirelessly trying to book a trip or a workshop or SOMETHING...because I was so resistant to not having plans. I didn't make any.
I can say this week has been a week of getting to know myself again. I am great and I appreciate the people in my life who are close with me. I'm not always the easiest person to talk to, nor do I listen always, but that's okay because thats me. All my imperfections balance out my perfections. I love me :)

So my intentions to blog this morning was to share an experience I had today. My boyfriend has been away this week and so I haven't had the affection nor the attention that I am used to from the opposite sex. And introducing body awareness and where my energy is today, was revealed to me this morning. I was routinely at my friday morning yoga class and during the first few moments in meditation a few people came in late and so there was a little space beside me for a mat and this cute guy rolled out his mat beside me. During the practice I noticed my energy shifting and I felt at ease, attentive, and a little needy. This guy beside me was noticing me and I knew I wanted to be noticed. The attention I have been missing and wanting all week from my boyfriend was given to me this morning. In the most subtle ways, I felt fulfilled from this cute guy noticing me. And I laugh now as I blog because it amazes me how powerful humans are. As soon as he layed out his mat, he must have picked up on my energy because he gave me what I was looking for. I was in scrubs, had dirty hair, no makeup, sweating, and doing lion breaths with my tongue hanging out of my mouth and my eyes wide open...and he noticed me. I love that. Of course I am taking his attention as a compliment because I felt his attraction to me, I just knew he was. That is what I want from a partner, is to notice me when I'm not trying to be noticed. I assume most people want that. Do you ever plan to wear sexy lingerie and imagine this grand production from your mate when they see you...and then its not as you imagined? Why is that? Is it because it was planned and it wasn't a natural occurance? Maybe overthought?

Start to notice the people that are not trying to be noticed. Can you direct your attention away from your norm? I often do that, I will give the people who aren't tryng to gain attention, my attention!! Its so fulfilling for me :)

Anyways, at the end of my fulfilling experience of being noticed when I wasn't trying to be noticed, I'm thankful that I set my boundaries and didn't respond to the attention I was receiving. Im also thankful that my love is coming home in 3 days and I'll get that attention I was energetically seeking from him.

Set your boundaries and notice the people who are not trying to be noticed. What have you discovered?

Don't die with your song left inside you

"Don't die with your song left inside you. Let it guide you, along the way..."

What is your song? What is calling you? Forget about the what ifs and the buts...the first thing that comes to mind as you ponder those two questions, is that it? Go for what you wish. Do what you love. Dream big and blossom into the person you love. Be the author of your life and let go of anything holding you back. The things holding you back are great challenges to test your strength and to see how much you love yourself. Be strong, find the peaceful warrior within you and love yourself by singing your song.

This blog was inspired by the movie "The Shift" by Dr. Wayne Dyer

Stuck Stagnant Unfulfilled

I feel stuck. I feel stagnant. I feel unfulfilled. Today is Christmas and I woke up feeling just okay. When I was a kid, I was always so eager to get to bed xmas eve because I couldn't wait to wake up xmas morning and open all my gifts. I woke up and wasn't excited about today. Where has that excitement for life gone? I miss it and I want to find it again. I met my family in the living room and I sat there as my mom passed me gift after gift after gift after gift. I was satisfied with the first gift I opened....mascara, a book, and chocolate. My mom kept handing me gifts and I started to cry because I was so overwhelemed with all this "stuff"
I am so grateful that I received everything I needed/wanted and more, but it's like I didn't really care about it. There was no "thing" that I received that gave me that feeling of.....excitement. My excitement for life has disappeared. I want a challenge, I want to do something adventurous, something big, something new. Sometimes I feel like I need to get away. Should I? Maybe I need to explore myself a little more and figure out what I really want with my life. Maybe I dont need to figure anything out and I need to go with the flow. What is it?? I don' know!!

 Life is easy right now, I get everything I want, I have everything I want and more. But why aren't I satisfied. I sometimes wonder how rich people feel. I feel like my life is enriched with all this great stuff, but why aren't I so happy. Is anyone ever really happy. Does anyone ever really know what they're doing with there life? Does anyone ever really know what they want? Some say yes and some say no. What is the answer? It's as if I want to see a psychic for some guidance, but is that the easy way out? Why can't I just be present and in the moment with how I feel? I feel stuck and I don't know what to do.

The Shift

There's this shift going on in the universe and I think many people are feeling it. It seems that everyone I talk to is in search for something or depressed; questionning everything in their life or doesn't know what makes them happy anymore. After watching eat pray love, it was as if I saw similarities in myself as I did in the movie. If you feel the same, don't panic, lets reflect. I remember feeling really scared of what the outcome of my life would be based on how down I was feeling. I was scared of losing the things in my life that I already had or the unknown. What I have discovered is that it isn't anyone or anything in your life that is to blame for this feeling. We all want to figure it all out RIGHT NOW or find an excuse or something to blame, but in reality its just us. We are the ones going through something and the people in our life that are trying to understand us or are willing to emotionally support us are the people that love and care for us. Don't push them away.

This year was a year of questionning everything in my life. At one point I wanted to be by myself and move out on my own. Then I thought I needed to get away from my soulmate. Then I thought I needed new friends and a new job/career. I wanted to run away from everything at one point. What was it? The wisdom in me knew that running away wouldn't solve anything, but bring on feeling even more alone then I already had. I couldn't remember what made me feel good because I felt like I was living my life from other people's influences. Here are some of the things I started to do that brought me back to finding myself.
I started to meditate again every morning and if I didn't have the full 20mins in silence, then I said a prayer. I started to open up to the people I love and have had great long chats with them in hopes they would listen to what I had to say. They all did. I really realized how much I was loved during all this time because no one turned their back on me. I am so grateful for this :) I have been simplifying my life by not checking email everyday or not texting as much. I have been writing in my journal to vent and then decide afterwards if I choose to share it with who I need to. Sometimes its as if there are two of me...my heart and then my mind...and when I follow my heart, I am so happy, but when my mind threw in those questionning or negative thoughts, I allowed it to control me as if it were another being. Without being negative towards myself, I've been looking into my eyes in the mirror and telling myself that I am beautiful, that I love myself, that I am great just as I am.
I have been using positive affirmations like, I am happy, I love life, I am joyous today, I go with the flow of life and trust that everything is working out for me. Although you may not feel that way, just affirming it over and over replaces those negative thoughts or the fear that's coming into your mind out of habit. BREAK THE HABIT. Its just like anything else. Thinking negtively or living in fear is a bad habit. 

Add a little singing, dancing, yoga, meditaton, prayer, listening to music, you time, family/friend time, pet time. Keep things simple. Go back to what made you happy when you were a kid and DO IT. Do it alone or with others...set yourself free. Express yourself  :)